


I Bite At the Hand That Feeds Me/Slap At the Face That Eats Me

by ShortCryptid



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Anxious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale and Crowley Met Before The Fall (Good Omens), Crowley Has PTSD (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Was Raphael Before Falling (Good Omens), Crowley-centric (Good Omens), Holy Water, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Protective Aziraphale (Good Omens), Sad Crowley (Good Omens), Snake Crowley (Good Omens), Worried Aziraphale (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:40:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22124995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShortCryptid/pseuds/ShortCryptid
Summary: Crowley didn’t regret falling. He never belonged in Heaven. Though, he didn’t belong in Hell.No one wanted him in either.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter One

Raphael truly didn’t know if he was falling upwards or downwards, or nowhere at all. He just knew it burned. All he could see through his blurry golden eyes was a bloody red sky and the edges of his burning feathers.  
He hadn’t meant to fall. He just hung out with the wrong crowd. He had felt safe with them and his brother. Samael had always encouraged him to ask his questions. He never quite felt like he belonged with Micheal, Gabriel, or Uriel. But Samael was always there for him.  
Every bone and ounce of ichor his body burned like Hellfire. He felt the feathers and flesh burn away from his six wings, singing them black.  
He didn’t want to leave his Aziraphale. He was the only other one aside from Samael that he trusted. He could still remember the first time he had seen the angel in one of Heaven’s gardens. The way the light lit up his blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He always knew he was different from the others. He didn’t deserve him.  
But what happened before doesn’t matter now. He was falling. He wouldn’t be able to get Aziraphale back now. He was a fallen angel. If they ever got the chance to meet again, he wouldn’t blame Aziraphale if he smote him on sight. He probably wouldn’t even recognize him anyway.  
Raphael let out a strangled wail of grief as the rest of God’s love left him. And, after what had seemed like hours, he finally hit the ground. Well, he didn’t really hit the ground. More like hitting a pool of boiling sulfur. He knew he should probably feel something, but he just felt dull and empty, the pain dull against his grief.  
He felt his body shift. His skin became sharp and covered in dark scales. His tongue slithered out, tasting the air. It smelt rotten. When the scent hit him he almost gagged. It smelt of grief and pain. There was no escaping it, it was everywhere. On the walls. On the demons around him, withering in puddles of sulfur. Even on him.  
When he managed to crawl his way out of the puddle, he collapsed next to it. He rolled over to face it. He saw his reflection in the murky puddle. He is hideous. He looked like the creature he had helped create, a serpent. His scales were a dark black and sharp and painful red. His eyes, which were normally golden and held stars in their depths, were now a sickly yellow. His pupils were now slanted and the width of a pinprick.  
He laid there for what felt like forever until suddenly there was a demon standing above him. It was Samael. No, that’s not right. It was Lucifer now.  
Lucifer stared down at his younger brother, a sickening smile spread across his face. “Hello, little snake.”  
———  
Lucifer had sent Raphael upon Earth to cause mischief. He didn’t want to, but it could’ve been worse. He had just tempted Adam and Eve into eating a forbidden apple. They had just been banished from Eden when he slivered his way up a tree to watch them.  
As he peered from the leaves and branches he spotted an angel standing on the wall. The angel seemed to be watching the pair of humans nervously, wringing his hands. He slid off the tree and onto the wall to get a closer look at the mysterious angel.  
He wasn’t prepared when he got a good look at the angel’s face. His heart dropped as he instantly recognized the angel’s ridiculously blonde curly hair and bright blue eyes. It was Aziraphale. It was too late to turn back now, as Aziraphale had noticed him from the corner of his eye.  
And, for the first time since he fell, he shifted to his human form. He knew he looked different, but he didn’t know how much. He didn’t know if Aziraphale would recognize him or not. And he honestly couldn’t tell if that would be good or bad. “Well, that went down like a lead balloon.” He murmured nervously.  
Aziraphale turned to him, his expression blank, showing no recognition in his eyes. “I’m sorry, what was that?” This was good. Or bad. Hell if he knew.  
He tilted his head curiously (which he now knew was covered in long curly red hair) at Aziraphale. His eyes carefully blank. “I said, well, that went down like a lead balloon.”  
“Oh. Yes, it rather did,”  
Raphael could go along with this. “I think it was a bit of an overreaction, to be honest,” he stared down at the two humans once more. “I mean, first offence and everything. I can’t see what’s so bad about knowing the difference between good evil, anyway.”  
“Well, it must be bad,” sighed Azriaphale nervously. “Why else would you be here?”  
Raphael shrugged carefully. “They just told me to ‘get up there and cause some trouble’.  
I needed to get out anyways.” He pauses. “And it’s not very subtle of the Almighty, anyway, is it? Fruit tree in the middle of a garden, with a ‘don’t touch’ sign. I mean, why not put it on top of a high mountain? Or on the moon? Makes you wonder what God’s really planning.”  
Aziraphale's worried face became carefully blank again. “Best not to speculate. It’s all part of the Great Plan.”  
the Great Plan. He thought bitterly. “Ah, yes. The Great Plan.” This subject was obviously a sore spot. “Ineffable, right?”  
Aziraphale smiled tightly. A very fake smile, might he add. “It is beyond understanding and incapable of being put into words.”  
The two of them stood in silence.  
“What was your name?” Aziraphale eventually asked,  
Raphael froze. He could tell him, he hadn’t been smitten on sight. But would he even believe him? He had to decide now.  
“My name is Crawley.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back from procrastinating?
> 
> I've made major changes to the first chapter.

Crawley.

Of all of the names he could’ve possibly chosen, he had to choose Crawley. It probably wasn’t too late to tell Aziraphale the truth. Telling the angel could end in two ways.

1: Aziraphale would immediately smite him. Who would believe that this nasty lowly demon could be the great Archangel of Healing, Raphael? He didn’t even look like Raphael any more. His long black hair was now a fiery red. His golden eyes were now a sickly yellow with slitted pupils.

2: In the small chance that Aziraphale believes him, Aziraphale might fall. He might go against Heaven to be with him. If Aziraphale fell, Crawley would never forgive himself. 

Crawley decided it would be best for everyone if he didn’t tell him. If he did it would end up with either of them getting hurt, and he didn’t want to risk the chance (God knows fate wasn’t on his side).

Aziraphale tilted his head at the demon. “Crawley?”

Crawley gestured vaguely at nothing. “Because… I crawl like a snake… ya know?”

“Oh, you are the snake, aren’t you?” Aziraphale reminds himself.

Crawley shifted awkwardly, turning his gaze to the two humans in the distance. “Yep.” His lips were drawn tight into a fake smile. “That’s me… snake.”

The angel and the demon stood in awkward silence. Then, dread washed over Crawley. “You gave it away,”

Aziraphale’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What was that?”

“You’re sword,” Crawley haphazardly threw his hand in the vague direction of the humans. “You gave it away.”

Aziraphale’s face fell, his fidgeting hands froze. “Y-yes, I did,” he said, staring at his feet.

Crawley’s gaze flickered up to the sky. The Heavens. “What are you going to tell Her?”  
Aziraphale lifted his gaze to the fallen ArchAngel. “M-maybe She won’t notice?” 

By then, panic had consumed Crawley. Aziraphale was going to fall and there was nothing he could do about it. “She knows everything,” he insisted.

Aziraphale began to wring his hands again. “I had to, alright!” he gasped, his sad gaze shifted back to the humans. “There are vicious animals out there!” he bit his lip. “And she’s already expecting!”

Now that Crawley looked closer, he saw that Adam did, indeed, have the flaming sword in his grasp. He took in a shuddery breath, trying to gain his nerves back. “Well, maybe you did the right thing.”

Aziraphale looked at the demon as though he’d gone mad.

“You’re still here, right? Maybe it was what she wanted you to do?” it sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than Aziraphale, but the angel didn’t seem to notice.

The angel’s face cleared up a bit. “Yes,” he said thoughtfully. “Perhaps you’re right.”

“I don’t even think you can do wrong. You’re an angel.” Crawley drawled.

Aziraphale gave him a small smile. “Oh, thank you,”

Crawley felt warm at that moment. He felt like he was back in Heaven. He felt normal again. Just sitting in the gardens with Aziraphale.

The sudden boom of thunder from above snapped him out of the moment.

Aziraphale startled beside him. “What’s this?” he asked curiously.

The sky above them darkened and droplets of rain began to sprinkle from the sky. “That first rainfall,” Crawley supplied helpfully.

Aziraphale frowned. “It’s not holy is it?”

Crawley subconsciously drew closer to the angel. “I have no clue.” Crawley himself had never witnessed what happened to a demon when it made contact with something holy. He just knew it destroyed them completely. Crawley didn’t really want to experience it.

There was a sudden whoosh and then Aziraphale’s wing was umbrellaed over the demon.

Crawley gazed over at the angel in awe. Aziraphale carefully avoided the other’s gaze. “Would be an awful shame if it were holy. A great big mess that would be.”

Crawley smiled to himself, momentarily forgetting all of his problems. The warm feeling was back.

He could get used to this.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic ever. I hope you liked it :)
> 
> Let me know if I should continue this, I’m not very confident with my writing, I would love some constructive criticism.
> 
> Title is from the short film ‘Possibly In Michigan’.


End file.
